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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am not sure if my MIL would describe herself as a feminist; however, she was the primary breadwinner working outside of the home while my FIL retired early and cared for the kids. She is a great MIL and DH does more than his share around the house and caring for our children. [/quote]

Same. Mine rarely cooks- lived to work (and still does- contracted back as a retiree) and was very A type and created an independent streak and strong work ethic in her kids. My DH cooks and cleans like his dad and also is the main caregiver now that my work has so much travel. I have a wonderful, capable DH (who also works full time) because of her and FIL.

The only down side- she would be horrified if I decided to quit, do nothing and take care of the kids at home- she never did it so would not understand/support that- but I think I'd feel the same as a MIL.

Feminism is all about the freedom to choose what you want- but we have a friend who just did this (quit job to take care of 2 toddlers) and now they are having to move in with her inlaws to pick up the dime because they can no longer afford their home/cars/etc because she decided to quit. Didn't sound too cool to us but it's not our marriage. I made a joke about doing the same and moving in with her to take care of us and we had a belly laugh.[/quote]

This is similar to my family dynamic. Both my parents worked, mom has a PhD and had a job as important and lucrative as my dads in the 1970s. I told her I was considering staying home with my DC1 when he was an infant with bad colic and she was horrified. She actually came and helped us enormously so I can continue my career. My brother cooks and cleans and woke up during the night to feed his son. My SIL has an important career too and she loves my mom and we're all very close. My MIL stayed at home and my SIL and my husband are a disaster about housework. My H got much much better over the years and he can actually cook a little, still not great at cleaning but we have weekly cleaning service.  
 [/quote]

I would really recoil if my mom or MIL were horrified by a choice to work or SAH. They had their chance to build
their lives,  now it’s mine. Judgmental women. A mom should come to help because the new mom needs help, not because she’s grasping her pearls over a choice you were making about your own child. That’s manipulative behavior.[/quote]

A loving mom would come to help you if you need it and she can, regardless of how you live your life. It’s called unconditional love.[/quote]

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