Reply to Accepted ED but ex refuses to help pay

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe it's me, but feels like there are one or more men's right activists in this thread with all the references to men being bamboozled, etc. When they became dads did they just think it was going to be all shits and giggles? [/quote]

It’s just you. How is this a men’s rights issue anyway?[/quote]

No, it’s not just that poster. I recognize the language of the men’s rights activists. I also note that OP never said she wouldn’t pay anything. She just asked what to do about her child’s father refusing to pay anything.

I’ve known deadbeat dads who wanted their ex-BILs and ex-SILs to pay for their kids education b/c they’ve decided that their ex-in-laws have money and should pay.  There are more entitled deadbeats out there than people realize. [/quote]

You are not a deadbeat for not paying for college.  Many married, divorced and single parents don't pay because they cannot afford it or don't want to.  This is not a deadbeat situation  A deadbeat is when a parent is ordered to pay child support and they don't pay it.  Anything over age 18/after graduation from college is voluntary.  OP isn't giving any real information about the entire situation including incomes, other responsibilities, how much he is paying in support and extra's, how much each parent can afford/willing to pay and how much the child will pay (summer earnings).

She is also refusing to pay from the minimum information provided.  She expected financial aid, they didn't get it and is now demanding that Dad fully pay.

We don't know Dad's side.  [/quote]

Yes, we DK the dad's side, but the dad SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIS DAUGHTER HE WASN'T GOING TO PAY FOR COLLEGE [b]WAY BEFORE[/b] HE SIGNED THE FAFSA FORM AND, IF NOT THEN, DEFINITELY WHEN HE SIGNED IT A FEW MONTHS AGO. That's part of being a parent, having hard conversations with your kid. Yes, he is not obligated to pay but any parent worth their salt should have told the kid once they saw the kid was on a college track about what they would/not handle for college. The dad owed that to the kid.[/quote]

I signed the FAFSA and told my kid two things:

1) I won’t stand in your way of applying and I will sign the FAFSA so you can be considered for aid, but I will not pay any gap between in-state VA and out-of-state Public.

2) I will similarly not sign a parent plus loan unless extremely limited circumstances occur like getting into an exclusive program at an elite university that puts you on track for a high-paying career. This is because I love you and don’t want you taking on debt without a very secure path to pay it off quickly. I also will not leverage my future as I approach retirement because I don’t want to be a financial burden on you as you start out your own life.

3) I have your in-state tuition covered with a prepaid plan. Please value that. [/quote]

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