Reply to Constantly rejected and I'm feeling embarrassed. I'm not sure what to do

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s a numbers game. When I was dating, between boyfriends, I would date at least 2-3 guys at one time (go on multiple dates with each of them) so if one turned me down, I wouldn’t be too hung up over that one guy. Have a rotation of multiple people.

The first impression is important. Do what you can to look and feel your best. Get a fresh haircut, mani/pedi, find makeup that works for you, appropriate jewelry and outfits. Wear clothes that are date appropriate and show that you are trying. You want to leave an impression on someone-“wow, she’s cute” or “wow, she’s stylish and down to earth”.

Steer the conversation towards them. People love talking about themselves. Ask them questions about themselves but not a laundry list of questions. Take their response and dig deeper into what they are sharing. Build on their response with your own experience but steer the conversation back to them.

Keep things light. Joke around and laugh at their jokes. It’s okay to be vulnerable and bring up heavy subjects but don’t dwell on them. End the date light.

Take the initiative to ask them out on the second date. Did they mention a hobby, a fav restaurant, a cool neighborhood during the date? Follow-up with them a few days later to ask them if they’d like to do X. If they are into you, they will appreciate it. If not, you’ve got 2 other guys in the rotation, don’t dwell on him.

Rinse, Repeat.

A[b]lso, if you do get asked out on a second date with someone you’re not sure you’re attracted to, go on that second date anyway. You never know, that guy might surprise you. [/b]

[/quote

I mostly agree with everything but your last sentence. No one is ambiguous about attraction you either are or you aren't. It's not something you want to convince yourself off and it nearly always ends up biting you in the ass when you  do.. She doesn't owe a man a date.[/quote]

I agree that you should not go on a date with someone you’re straight up not attracted to. But the reality is we can’t all date the hottest guys. And there’s a spectrum of attractiveness. What I’m saying is if you think this guy is not your type but there is potential the attraction can grow, I would go on that second or third date to be sure. For me at least, someone becomes more attractive to me the more I get to know them.

OP sounds like she had a great personality, is kind, has hobbies and interests, and a great career. It’s really a numbers game and sometimes that also means giving another similarly kind person (you don’t spark with immediately, but has potential) a second date.[/quote]

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