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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] Oh boy. NP here and I say this with all sincerity: find a good therapist or at least read a self help book. This is not how healthy adults respond to poor treatment from their spouses.[/quote]

What do you think a man should do when a woman uses emotions to manipulate her husband to get what she wants? What is his response to this bad behavior?

🤷 Can’t see why you should respond any differently than when a kid does it.[/quote]

Don’t you see that responding immaturely when somebody is acting immature is the exact thing that a kid would do? If somebody isn’t treating you well, you don’t escalate the conflict and start trying to act like your spouses father. [/quote]

Where did I say you should respond immaturely? I said you should respond to tantrums and emotional blackmail in a spouse the same way you respond to them in a child. When you, as a parent, do not let kids get what they want through tantrums and blackmail, you are not “escalating” or “responding immaturely”. There are certainly escalatory and immature ways to respond to tantrums and emotional blackmail, but that is not what I am recommending.

If you let anyone manipulate you with tantrums and blackmail, you have failed as an adult and you have shown weakness which the person doing that to you will surely exploit again and again.[/quote]

You said "act like a child get treated like a child," and that you shouldn't respond differently to an adult doing something immature than you would respond to a kid. It's not mature for a grownup to treat another adult as a child no matter what the other adult is doing.

Plus you should like you treat your kids in a really immature way too. You're caught up in not seeming weak so you feel like you have to assert your authority the minute you feel it's threatened. Not a great way to treat a kid, and a terrible way to treat an adult.[/quote]

Your assumptions are completely incorrect. I don't treat my kids in an immature way. I exercise calm but firm adult parental authority. They are not going to get what they want by crying or displaying anger. No, I do not feel "threatened" when they tried to do that back when they were much smaller. That's asinine. They have no ability to threaten me whatsoever, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let them get their way with tantrums and emotional manipulation. One of the reasons they don't try that on me now is because it has never worked.

If an adult acts immaturely towards me, I am going to treat them the same way as I would a child - that is, with a calm but firm refusal to be manipulated.

One of the things I first noticed as a parent is how many other parents were too weak and flabby to exert their authority over their children. Invariably, these people had awful children.

Authority is always conserved. If you don't have it, your children have it. If your children have it, then you suck as a parent. [/quote]

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