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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Act like a child, get treated like a child. [i]If your adult partner, male or female, tries to get what they want through tantrums and blackmail, they lose their right to be treated like an equal partner. Not least because that person is no longer treating you like an equal partner, but is saying "give me what I want or else". [/i]

[i]She is also trying to shift the grounds for decision from judgement to emotion (do what I want or I will be sad, do what I want or I will be mad at you), which is not the proper basis for financial decisions and should be rejected every time she tries it. [/i]Just like when a child tries it![/quote]

NP here.  Where did OP say that his wife said she was having a tantrum or emotional blackmail?  Also IMO all personal decisions are emotional unless you are dealing with a robot.  How you want to spend your money or not is a reflection of what you value, how you were raised/connection to childhood, experiences you’ve had etc and that’s the context for “logical decisions”.   And cost isn’t the same thing as worth or value.  I’ve seen people say something is too expensive that is a food item but hop into a luxury car and it makes 100% sense if you understand that the person gets something different out of those things than I do.

OP, why does your DW feel the house has to be perfect?  Since you do have the money, is your sense of unease that you don’t feel like you have the opportunity to also put your stamp on the house or that you aren’t picking out things together for the kitchen, especially where you are the primary cook?  Or is it that you worry about spending money in general?  Both of you have reasons behind why what you think is perfectly logical doesn’t make sense to the other person - it’s being able to articulate underlying reasons (like when you do the 5 whys at work to get to a root cause) for yourself, trying to understand the same for the other person and then working towards a compromise.  [/quote]

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