Reply to When you don't like a person in your broader friend group, which is the best way to handle?

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Reply to "When you don't like a person in your broader friend group, which is the best way to handle?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You sound like a not decent human. Number 3 is the only option. [/quote]

+1 Also... maybe *try* to like her? I mean.... you can *learn* to like people that rub you the wrong way at first. [/quote]

Especially because these other people who you like and respect see value in her.  My friend group has expanded over time and there was a period where I had friction with a new friend.  Over the years we’ve become close.  Yes, she still annoys me about certain things (and I her I am sure).  But she is also fiercely loyal, supportive and an incredible stand up person and I’m glad she is my friend.[/quote]

That's great. But I had the opposite experience. A new friend appeared who didn't like *me*. She was rude to me all the time, putting down where I went to college and saying unkind things about my clothes and appearance. And yet, my other friends all liked her and "saw value" in her. And I was viewed as the bad one for not wanting to be around this person who made me feel terrible.

So it's great you found a loyal, supportive friend. But it doesn't always work that way, and sometimes you other friends like someone because they fail to see her they way you do (in my case, this woman just had an issue with me and was really nice to everyone else -- I will never know why).

Anyway, my point is that it's more complex and that the idea that "Oh, everyone else likes her, why don't you?" overlooks the fact that people have different experiences with one another and there may very well be a good reason why someone doesn't' like the new friend. But no one cared why I didn't like the new friend which is why all of those women are now my former friends and I don't do "friend groups" anymore.[/quote]

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