Reply to Feeling extremely discouraged. A rant.

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Everything feels so hard. Like a battle. Nitpicking. I had to work really hard this morning to change my response and mindset.

First interaction this morning: "So you're responsible for groceries, right? It's really frustrating that there's nothing in here to eat. There's no sausage, breakfast meat, etc and I have to cobble something makeshift for me and kids today." Me: "There are eggs, oatmeal, fruit, waffles. Is there nothing in there ,or is there nothing you like/want?" DH: "You're missing my point. If theres stuff that I want to eat, will you add that to the grocery list, or do I have to go get it myself. I will, I guess, but if you cited groceries as one of your expenses/tasks, then it would be nice if you got stuff that I like and not just for you and kids."

I took a deep breath.

I wanted to say so badly: go f yourself. first of all, that's a really rude way to interact with someone first thing in the morning. bad energy and tone to start the day. second: what do you do to provide for the family? you're so transparent- upset because i pushed back on your request to use kid savings account money for your share of an expense- so now you are trying to nitpick, criticize, and get out of another expense. I feel like I cover so much of the family load: mental (remembering to now buy certain additional breakfast items for you) and financial.

I actually said: There is a lot of food in the fridge, but maybe it's food that you don't like, or you'd prefer something specific for breakfast. Write it on the board and I'll add it to the list.

I would have had a TOTALLY different reaction if he, in a kind caring voice said: "Thanks for getting groceries every week. I appreciate it. Could you please add xyz to this list? Thanks."

I'm just being honest here and this has turned into a journal for me. It's not pretty and flowery. I really wanted to push back. But for today in this moment, I decided to just say yes, and see if that avoided another fight/took down the temperature.

I don't know if this has left me feeling pleased for changing my mindset and response, or taken advantage of, again .[/quote]

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