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Reply to "Being a working parent (during non-pandemic times) - is it as bad as it seems?"

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[quote=Anonymous]It sucks.  I have a 10 and 8 year olds. No family in area. DH and both work.  I'm telling you pre kids I was type A strong networker, I was really successful.  Now I could care less about my job I just need to make x amt and have to stop working at x time during the wks to carpool duty.  Both our kids are travel sports and it's one parent per kid.  I have a boy and girl who are really different and my son has ADHD.  Let me tell you it's harder when they are older.  All that lean in stuff is bullshit.  All the families I know either have hired help or family to help.  Or one parent stays home or PT.  There is NO way we could do this without one of us having great flexibility and we both have signed up for it meaning we have financial stability but neither of us have upward career mobility.  One of us could but the other world not be able to. Flexibility is paramount.

I also know parents who outsource help to the point their kid has separation anxiety since it's so rare seeing their parent.  I don't think it's worth it personally.  When they are young it's easier esp if you have money.  I had 2 nannies incl one who overnight our kids on weekends if we needed some time.  It was glorious.  But now older you can do sleepovers and such.  But it's also harder since you can't just have someone take care of them - you're gonna have to cook all the meals yourself! Lol

I think for some people parenting is easier than others.  For us it's really hard and miserable.  We make a ton of money but after camps, family vacations, activities, pvt school, we always seem to be screaming at our lack of funds.  It depends on your kids too.  We were lucky in certain ways - our kids are great sleepers for example.  No potty training drama, no allergies, etc.  but it's always something with a kid just remember.  Our kids seem great but for us it's picky eating.  It's ADHD.  It's a strong willed kid.

Have kids and enjoy them as we love ours but know it takes a village and living near family who may help you is priceless.  The early years are easier even though you won't believe me now.  Hire help and you'll be fine but plan for the older years before 14, 15 when you really have to be around and even later in teens when it's so important to mentally be there even if physically they are fine on own.[/quote]

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