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[quote=Anonymous]FT WOHM (during non-pandemic times) of two with HHI of $325 (less when my first was born) here who is most certainly not miserable nor exhausted.  Here's what makes my life work:

1) When my older DC was 1.5 I switched jobs.  The new (and still my current) job is low stress and flexible.  I leave my work at the office door everyday at 4:30 (I don't even so much as check emails in the evening).   This job change is the number one key to my current happines above all else.  I truly enjoy my job and it's still in my field, requires my advanced degree, etc. , but a more ambitious or career-oriented person than myself might not be as fulfilled.  (It's also a very intellectual, cerebral kind of position.)  I did forgo a lot of earning potential.  Again, no regrets, but YMMV.

2) DH is an amazing husband and father -- he does a fair and equitable portion of household and childcare taks.  It is not 50/50 -- I do more -- but it is absoltuely fair given that DH works much longer and more stressful hours and has a longer commute.  He genuinely wants to spend time with the family and contribute; I don't need to "ask for his help' or "nag" or blah blah.

3) Great childcare.  We did a nanny share for my first -- actually quite affordable and worked out nicely, and our own nanny when the second came around plus part-time preschool mixed in too.  This was certainly expensive, but worth every penny, and the childcare years of course don't last forever.  Our nanny is an angel!  And if something falls through on the childcare front, my job is flexible (see number 1) such that it is NBD if I need to take off.  Our nanny is also pretty much always available to babysit for date nights, etc.  I do not have any family nearby, but thanks to numbers 1-3 combined, it's fine.

4) Sleep training -- at 4 months we began sleep training both of my DCs, and by 6 months for the first, and 7 months for the 2nd, they were sleeping through the night with no regressions since.  I actually get more sleep as a parent than I did before because now I prioritize it.

5) Outsourcing - we have a bi-weekly cleaning lady and have used grocery delivery since my first was born.  Lots of amazon delivery too, and I'm a great meal planner.

Responses on threads like these skew to the miserable.  I have a circle of working-mom friends who are similarly happy and found their own recipe for making it work.  Obviously, $$ helps.

I'd love more time for hobbies,  to read, etc., but that will resume again in another season of my life...[/quote]

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