Reply to Why would a dad not get 50/50 custody?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Equal time is not good for the kid. Do 50/50, but in reality, stop making the kids go back and fourth all the time. Nobody care who cheated or who beat whom.
I share custody with ex-DH. He was required to pay some minimum of $400 a month ($300 of which I promised to put into 529) and health insurance. Has never paid health insurance and is ca 3 years behind on this $400 a month.
Heck with it all. I'm happy the child can come and go when he wants the last 5 years or so, and has actually chosen to live with my sister and BIL. 50/50 was necessary to make DH, myself and court happy.
Once you have the 50/50, all should chill out. 
[/quote]

This.This This.
I gave my cheating ex 60/40 per agreement. He was in affair fog and guilt tripping. Pretended to litigate for every second weekend and had him pay more for more custody. He has kid every weekend and one weekday per agreement. In actuality kid often asks to spend weekend with me or insists on inviting me over to weekend activities. Works fine with everyone - except his girlfriend aka reduced to side fling by this.
I know many women who tried to hold the kids hostage and litigated. All I see is they are caught in an endless toxic loop.
I have a spotlessly clean house when my boyfriend comes over for weekends and kid doesn't have to deal with an extra adult.

I was the sole caregiver and kid had no connection to cheating, drinking, absent dad. It was very hard for kid and me to suddenly change but with major encouragement from my side at least there is a normal, close connection with dad. I won't be singing the praises on him but whilst I resigned from the job of keeping him in balance as a spouse per his cheating, being forced to actually parent and spending so much time at kids weekends activities, managing tantrums and emotions and actually running a household has indeed made him into a tolerable person to be around. For me and kid that is. His girlfriend constantly gives him FLAK and I suppose he's making up all kind of stories to make me look bad. Who cares?[/quote]

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