Reply to 10 year old told me he thinks spouse is cheating on me -- advice?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How is your marital sex life OP?  All good:  > 95% chance he is NOT cheating. Pretty bad: 100% chance he is on the prowl[/quote]

It's all good: 50% he is cheating Pretty bad: 50% chance is cheating[/quote]

I know you might WISH otherwise (and you might rightfully quibble a small bit with my numbers) but the overwhelming facts are men who are satisfied at home rarely cheat; while unsatisfied men very likely are cheating.

OP? Can you please answer this question?[/quote]

Cheating is not always about being ‘satisfied’ at home. People often cheat because they are insecure and have other issues. How do you think spouses get STDs from cheaters?[/quote]

Yep! 3-4 times per week with me (all variety of sex and horny/grab my @ss in the kitchen or jump me in the shower —high attraction)for 20-years and he managed to have an affair partner that he boned once or twice a month.

Guys with high sex drives can be getting lots of it at home and still find variety/different person enticing because it is an escape from reality/daily grind.  Compartmentalizers.

OP- I don’t know why you would NOT snoop and get to the bottom of this.  Is it because you are afraid you will find out he is cheating?  What’s the alternative—risk STIs and your kid finding more nasty stuff or seeing naked photos of his lover?

Don’t bury your head in the sand...especially with your kid now harmed by it.[/quote]

Right: a very [b]small[/b] number of married men that have it "good" at home certainly do still cheat. That's the (100-95 ==) 5% that I referenced above. Your husband is in this elite 5% group due to the [b]rare[/b] combination of:  a) sex drive high enough to do the arduous work (as a married man) seeking even MORE than he already gets at home b) sufficient looks/game (despite being a married man) to attract an AP  c) a wife at home wanting sex 4X per week.

Do you seriously think OP's husband too is in that 5% group? A and B are tough to ascertain but OP herself could easily answer C) are you now having sex 4X per week?[/quote]

Your way of thinking is just flat out wrong.

Cheaters cheat no matter the circumstances of their marriage.

It's like saying if you were a better wife your H would not drink or most people that are alcoholics is because their spouse sucks.

The fact is the reason people cheat is because of bipolar disorder, untreated anxiety, survivor of childhood rape, and pure selfishness. [/quote]
SOME cheaters cheat no matter the circumstances. SOME people cheat over mental issues. That's the 5%!!!
But the large MAJORITY of men who cheat do so because THEY JUST NEED REGULAR SEX ... and aren't getting that at home.
Many women struggle to grasp this simple concept: a normal healthy man needs sex, and he will do whatever it takes to find that, if not at home, then elsewhere.
Your opinion of this as a moral failure is irrelevant, and does not at all contradict my statement that men in sexless marriages cheat in large numbers, meanwhile other men do not.
Google "why do married men cheat" and the top hits literally say "dissatisfaction with the marriage either emotionally or [b]sexually[/b]"[/quote]

You are wrong... stop using google as a research tool .., find peer reviewed research.

Many men struggle to take ownership and need to blame their cheating in “lack of sex” but even if they had “regular sex” they would find another reason why they cheat, “starfish sex”. The 5% is men that just admit, I cheated because there was an opportunity and I took it with no thought of my wife/kids/family. It was just an act because I’m selfish.[/quote]

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