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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I’m a very high earner and work 70-80 hour weeks. I will be involved as I possibly can with kids, but she will be the default parent. We will hire help with childcare and housekeeping, but she will manage the day-to-day responsibilities of cooking, cleaning, shuffling kids to school, etc. My parents had the same setup and it worked. My dad was very involved in raising us, but my mom did the bulk of it. [/quote]

OP,  my husband and I have this set up.  He is a law firm partner and I am a SAHM.  I had our first at 37 after getting a PhD and having a career.  My best friend is similar, the wife of a partner who formerly had a political job.  We are both in happy marriages.  For me (and a believe for my friend), I don’t mind taking on this role.  I had almost two decades to work and now I am enjoying having little at home.  We are not religious or conservative. Just regular, well educated suburban liberals.  [/quote]

Just out of curiosity, PP... do you also have a prenup and does your husband control the finances?[/quote]

No. We don’t.  I wouldn’t sign one and my DH would never ask. I am also pretty certain that we will not get divorced. It would be out of character for both of us since we are both low conflict people who communicate well and genuinely like each other.

I handle most of the day-to-day finances, but we make big decisions together.  Being a SAHM was never a goal or plan of mine. My kids are still young (the youngest is 2), so I don’t know what I will do long term, but I won’t go back full time to an inflexible job.  DH cannot pick up the slack at home because he is always working and I won’t handle everything at home by myself and also juggle a work schedule.  DH is fine with that.  [/quote]

So your situation is actually different from what OP wants - he'd like a tight prenup so this woman doesn't also get his money if things don't work out. And he also wants to control the family finances (but of course this hypothetical wife would have "access").

He needs someone who is naive enough to accept such a raw deal, not someone like you. [/quote]

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