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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Before we married DH told me that if I ever had an affair he did not want me to tell him.  He said it was selfish to hurt the other person with that information.[/quote]

I have the same agreement with my spouse.  I only want to know if they are planning on leaving me.  I wonder if we are in a silent majority.  What do I gain by finding out, other than the pain described above and the daunting decision to divorce or live with it[/quote]

They won’t tell you that.  The woman my husband started the AM affair with was all about “it’s just sex”.  All loosely goosey, look how carefree and progressive I am.

He was her third ling affair.  Her MO was a year or more in to profess love and push for running away together. Her husband has no idea she wants out.  If he’s one of these “I don’t care, don’t tell me unless u plan on leaving”, he is for a rude awakening.

People with that type of arrangement have zero self-respect.  Doormats.[/quote]

NP. Are you the same poster that talks about how your husband was/is cheating with a married SAHM that blogs about a perfect life, and she doesn’t use protection? If so, I only recognize you because of the intense tone of your writing. For your wellbeing and health, please try to forgive. You don’t have to reconcile, but forgiveness allows you to let go of the power and control over your happiness. Every negative thought or emotion or annoyance related to this is a demonstration of the power that SHE HAS over YOU. Don’t let her take up real estate in your mind or your heart.

I looked up a quote from my favorite book, The Power of Constructive Thinking, by Emmet Fox so that I could share this quote with you:

“Your Mental Conduct, your hour-by-hour thinking, produces specific conditions, and may be thought of as the weather of your soul. Your fixed convictions concerning the things that really matter are seldom changed and may be called the climate of the soul, and it is these that mold your destiny.”

My hope for all of the betrayed spouses in this thread is that they use their personal  power of constructive thinking to destruct negativity, and to promote positive, healthy, and peaceful emotional and mental dispositions. Hugs.[/quote]

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