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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I get that you want to be "seen" by the old boyfriend as you think this is a way to get closure.

The thing about trying to "be seen" like that, is that it's not in your control.  You give control away to someone who, didn't see you even when it was happening so long ago.  It doesn't work.

If you want to "be seen"--to not feel like your feelings don't count, or don't matter to anyone--you have to surround yourself with people who you believe see you, not try to get those who don't to change.  Does that make sense?  Maybe you are obsessing over this boyfriend because it's easier than dealing with the reality that your husband doesn't "see you."

Also, I read a lot of excuses for your current behavior.  Your parents, your past diagnosis, etc... let me say something that you can analogize from:

I used to be fat.  I could go to therapists to try and figure out why I eat, why I sabotage myself, etc.

Or, I could just put down the donut, eat right and work out.  Takes less time.  Figuring that out was key.  And that's what worked for me.

Now to be fair, I'm not saying that it really is an either-or, but often, it really IS a BALANCE between the two.  You can spin in your head for another 20 years, or you can put down the donut. You are really spinning in your head, so I propose you put down the donut AND see a therapist.

Right now you are eating donuts, blaming your parents and husband and ADHD etc for your eating donuts, and also making excuses as to not seeing a therapist to find out why you are eating donuts.  All of which leads to another 20 years of eating donuts.[/quote]

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