Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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[quote=Anonymous]My husband cane from an extremely f@cked up childhood.  Dad was an alcoholic.  He repeatedly and boldly cheated on his mother, fights, abuse.  She kicked him out.  When his dad had them for visitation he would have his current whore over and sit my husband and his brother in front of the tv while he left and went to the bedroom.  His mother was broken and had so much hatred and was working to support 2 kids.  He and his brother were emotionally neglected.

I did not know the full extent of this trauma when we were dating and married, or how bad it actually was.  He repressed it, never talked about it also said his dad was pathetic and he would never end up like his dad.  Like many people with these backgrounds, the trauma not addressed builds and most will crash in middle age.  He changed overnight and starting exhibiting behavior like his dad (though successful and not an alcoholic) he started displaying anger, entitlement became harsh, nasty and judgemental.  He hated himself and started going on Ashley Madison to find women to have sex with to numb the pain and find admiration and praise to help his ego.  He justified his actions my gaslighting.  He stated hating himself more and more and then began to drink just so he could go out and meet his affair partner—he couldn’t without alcohol.

He completely imploded his perfect life and happy marriage by repression and not getting help and refusing to confront the pain.

That was the mind of one cheater.  Some it’s because of childhood trauma.[/quote]

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