Reply to I told DW it’s time for her to return to work FT

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When we had kids, DW became a SAHM and our discussion was always that she’d return to the workforce at some point.  It’s now 15 years later, kids are in high school, and she is working part-time.  I just did our taxes and she only earned $18k last year - I am a GS-15 so by no means a rainmaker.  We are behind on savings, college 529, etc and I’m tired of having to agonize over every financial decision because our finances are so precarious.  DW has a Masters and could be making $60-70K full time but doesn’t want to - she has many stay at home friends who are married to rainmakers, but that’s not me.  I told her tonight that I’m at my wits end and she needs to step up.  She doesn’t want to work full time - neither do I but I suck it up for the family.  I’m very frustrated and can’t get DW to pick up the slack.  I am very involved at home and with the kids so she has supper there.[b]  How can I make her understand that we can’t always get what we want?!?[/b][/quote]

To convince your wife, first, YOU must understand that we don’t always get what we want.

However, from your post it sounds like you just want to convince your wife to do what you want.

[b]Did it ever occur to you that getting a 70K job after being out of the labor force for 15 years probably feels as impossible to her as getting a rainmaker job feels to you?

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I really wish OP would reply to this.

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Well at least he is trying.  First off, she can simply get a full-time job and see how that goes.[/quote]

He isn't trying.  He's been stuck at his same underpaid job for years.  He refuses to put the effort into making more money too.[/quote]

Yeah, and she refuses to work full time because... she doesn't want to.  Maybe she won't make 70K, but she will make more than the 18K she currently makes, and she's still young enough that her salary will continue to rise. Many of us would all love to work part time and we don't because we have to pay for college and contribute to retirement. The bottom line is, her spouse is not on board and is not comfortable being the breadwinner for life. It sounds like the plan was for her to go back to work eventually and now she doesn't want to give up her cushy life. No sympathy here.   [/quote]

The real question is will he do at least 50% or more if she has no flexibility in her schedule with a new job.  Assuming she works 15-20 hours part time, double that, she'd make $50K.  Minus taxes and social security, plus all that other stuff, plus commute costs.  At best she'll bring home $1800 a month.

If she needs to step up, so does he.[/quote]

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