Reply to DH cheated on me, and it would've been easier to be a widow

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "DH cheated on me, and it would've been easier to be a widow"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the comparison is not okay. I am widow and devastated as are my children. I know you are hurting but don’t minimize other people’s suffering. My husband is dead, if he had only cheated on me, at least my kids would have a dad. And by the way, the sympathy and kindness lasts about 5 months. [/quote]

I don't have kids (which also makes for a lonely future), so that was not in my personal calculation.[/quote]

As a person with kids with a cheater, I can say that a man who is a cheater often has serious personality and character flaws that are incompatible with being a good or even merely a present dad.  It is not enough in life to merely “have” a dad.  Sometimes having an absent or irresponsible dad wreaks more damage than you can imagine. [/quote]

+1 It is absolutely possible for divorced dads to be good and present fathers, but those tend to be the men whose marriages ended more organically. The men whose marriages ended over their infidelity? Far less likely to be decent dads in my experience, in part because they bring many of the same bad "relationship skills" to parenting that they did to their marriage. Lying, gaslighting, selfishness - none of these are conducive to a productive or healthy father/child relationship. They tend to cycle in and out of their kids' lives depending on how their other relationships are going, which creates a lack of trust in the parent/child relationship at best. At worst, it causes a cycle in which the child endlessly tries to win back their father's attention, not really understanding that the problem isn't them.

It's toxic, and it can only be fixed if the dad really wants to fix it, and devotes energy to improving himself and putting his kids first.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics