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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My son and his wife are hosting my husband and I for Christmas, as well as my sister and her husband. My nephew will also attend the holiday dinner, but not as an overnight guest.

So far, it seems I've been relegated to "bring muffins and some wine" duty, which is fine. I want to be helpful, but I know they're excited to try their hand at hosting a holiday for the first time. Besides helping to watch the kids, and offering to help with the meals and household chores, what can I do? Any advice from those of you who have either hosted your ILs, or been guests of your DILs?[/quote]

Nothing. You ask: once. If she and he say nothing, respect that. You have had your chance to host the holidays over the years. Now step aside and let them. Your use of "relegate" seems to convey some bitterness about that. Check it at the door.

I'll also add this: my MIL is a super nice lady. And we get along. But, she is anxious (and that bleeds to others) and can actually get in the way by trying to help. She has her way of how she did things: fine. I have mine. They are not the same and it will go faster if she just lets me be. I try to give her some small things to do and to encourage her to be with the grandkids and her son while I do the "laboring oar" work.

It's super nice of you to want to do more. And that may change in time. But if you want that, respect their wishes (it's both of them) now.[/quote]

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