Reply to Does your 12 year old "date"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I disagree - I let my DS 12 go on "dates".  He has gone with a girl for frozen yogurt, bowling and also ice skating once.  I dropped them off and picked them up. I OKd it with the mom. I want him to learn how to do while I still have some control. He offers to pay, opens doors, asks what she wants to do (where to go or whatever) and learns how to ask a girl out, make plans and carry out those plans - all good skills. I would let him do it with his guy friends and I let him do it with a girl in controlled situations and that is how he will learn how to behave in those situations.  He walks her to her door when the date is over.[/quote]

This sounds a little old fashioned ([b]I don't want my daughter to think that she needs to wait for a guy to open a door for her[/b]!), but generally I agree with this. I'm encouraged by the thought that 12 yr olds actually want to go on dates! When I was in middle and more so high school, "going out" mainly meant talking on the phone and hooking up at parties. Dating sounds a lot better. [/quote]

Please don't tell your daughter this. Some of us are actually trying to teach our sons to be gentlement. Girls like your daughter are a real problem in that regard.[/quote]

Np. Sorry but you are problem and your son is in this world, not your generation.[/quote]

Being a gentleman should be about being considerate of others.  Girls are not a problem in this regard, they are just other people.  If your son meets a girl who does not like having doors held for her, then he should respect her and not force his door-holding on her.  That would be gentlemanly because he is respecting and caring for another person by paying attention to their preferences and desires.  [/quote]

NP. I think if my son met a girl who didn't like having doors held open for her, I hope he'd have the sense to run the other way.[/quote]

If my dd gets there first in your world she is supposed to stand there until your son opens it?  That is crazy!  I fear you are teaching him subtlety that women/girls are weak and can't do simple things for themselves.  Sure, don't slam the door in her face but, you are going way overboard.  Your son will learn the hard way.  There are more girls who are independent than the old fashioned girls waiting for boys to open doors.

Prepare for him being single because he is going to run away from the majority of girls.  ( and vice versa)[/quote]

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