Reply to Would you tell a vegetarian relative that your MIL has been sneaking meat into their food?

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Reply to "Would you tell a vegetarian relative that your MIL has been sneaking meat into their food?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you made the right choice OP.  If her own husband won't tell her then you don't have to feel bad about it.  She sounds truly insufferable.  And your MIL might be a sociopath.  Good luck![/quote]

I don't think you did the right thing OP.  You still have an obligation to be honest with your SIL or you are complicit in what is going on.  Do you really think that if SIL finds out, she won't be upset with everyone in the scenario who knew she was being mistreated and didn't intervene?  [/quote]
What “obligation” do you have in a non-life threatening situation to your DH’s brother’s wife? In fact what “right” would you have to bypass BIL here and go against his express statements not to inform SIL? [/quote]

Essentially what you are saying is that MIL and BIL requiring OP to be complicit in a lie that everyone recognizes SIL will be upset about when - not if, but when - it is discovered. I don't know how you conduct your life, but if I was OP, I would be pretty annoyed that I was being made to go along with the lie. I value honesty and if someone asks me to lie, I cannot trust their honesty anymore. It would color my entire relationship with them. In fact, the reality that SIL will be very upset would make me LESS comfortable with going along with the lie. It is clearly important to her, and her husband and MIL are essentially saying that what is important to her does not matter to them. Even if she is a piece of work (which she sounds like she is with the won't ride in SUVs and thinks straws are evil), it is not in any way acceptable or ethical to disregard her values in this way. I think that the lot of you who are saying that it's not OP's responsibility are overlooking the reality that MIL made it OP's responsibility when she instructed OP to lie. At that point, OP had a choice: be a liar or be truthful.

You guys are telling OP basically that it's okay for her to lie because SIL is unlikeable. [/quote]

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