Reply to Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Op here.[/b]

[quote=Anonymous]I think she already knows that your relationship is transactional. [/quote]

That's not how I see it, and frankly that's not how it is from me.  If that's what she thinks then screw it.  I am here bending over backwards to connect with her even just a LITTLE.  I am patient, compassionate, and have provided her with everything she needs and beyond.  All I have ever asked for is to be treated with kindness and included.  
[/quote]

That's the point OP- parenting is the only relationship you will ever have where you have to give, you have to put your kid first, you have to do your best, and you can't walk away -- *even when it's not mutual.* It is the flipping definition of parenting. [/quote]

Also, OP, in spite of what may seem like criticism, I sympathize. I have a challenging child- it's very hard. I do a lot for him that he doesn't acknowledge or appreciate. Sometimes his behavior is terrible and he can say terrible things. I often want to dole out some petty punishment to show I'm in charge because sometimes after a bad day, I do wonder who's driving the bus--and things he says can be really upsetting. Sometimes I even give in-- it always backfires and makes things worse because he sees that I'm using a power play to earn his respect-- and that's not how respect is earned. But it is a recipe for him not wanting a relationship with me when he's an adult. 
I know your DD is older- get/see the financial paperwork, non-negotiable, and launch her to college. She may be a very different person in 4-5 years than she is now--but I think her lessons will be learned in the world. [/quote]

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