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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That we really, really do not yet live in a society with gender equality. Workplace policies and cultural expectations both push women to be the default parent. You can maintain the illusion of gender equality until you have kids. Then you realize we’re still basically in the 1950s. (How many men know the names of their kids‘ doctors and dentists and teachers and classmates? Some. But not most. How many women? All of us). The inequality is very depressing. [/quote] I'm not saying that everybody can do this but both my H and I took a hit at income to be flexible and we both did everything. When my H would take off for a sick kid his boss would say, "what is wrong with your wife"... he would say "nothing, I unlike you like my kids and want to be there for them" or many variations of the same type of comment. Actually, my doctor once said to me..."oh there is a mom" ... I said, "that is very rude, I married a competent H and you are shaming me for it?" He did apologize and was very sorry and said, he has to get use to the new way us young kids do things. [/quote] Yep, my husband does the vast majority of appointments (medical, dental), because while he makes a ton more, he has more flexibility as a/the boss and because it’s just the way we’ve divided that particular bit of labor (there are other things I do the majority). Every now and again when I take ds, I get the comments, too, and just roll my eyes— and sometimes these are female providers! Or how my husband is at every event, party, practice with me and I get comments like how great he is just for being there . . .[/quote]
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