Anonymous
09/10/2019 11:29
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
I didn’t realize how much I would love my kids or how much other people love their kids. Now I realise, wow, my parents loved me THIS much? It’s made me much more empathetic towards other parents in general. Like everyone’s just out here doing their best.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 10:11
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is just for fun!
Before I was a parent I thought parents sat in the back with their babies because they couldn't stand to leave their precious poopkins alone in back, and I thought they were overly indulgent nuts. Now I get that its for your own sake to keep the baby from screaming the whole way and I'm totally riding in back to save my sanity
Before I had 2 I didn't really see why screentime was necessary - now I'm all over the ipad for my 2yo to give me 15minutes to get baby down and give him a little 1:1 love
I never rode in the back.
Someone get this lady a prize!
Anonymous
09/10/2019 10:10
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:That we really, really do not yet live in a society with gender equality. Workplace policies and cultural expectations both push women to be the default parent. You can maintain the illusion of gender equality until you have kids. Then you realize we’re still basically in the 1950s. (How many men know the names of their kids‘ doctors and dentists and teachers and classmates? Some. But not most. How many women? All of us).
The inequality is very depressing.
I'm not saying that everybody can do this but both my H and I took a hit at income to be flexible and we both did everything.
When my H would take off for a sick kid his boss would say, "what is wrong with your wife"... he would say "nothing, I unlike you like my kids and want to be there for them" or many variations of the same type of comment.
Actually, my doctor once said to me..."oh there is a mom" ... I said, "that is very rude, I married a competent H and you are shaming me for it?" He did apologize and was very sorry and said, he has to get use to the new way us young kids do things.
Yep, my husband does the vast majority of appointments (medical, dental), because while he makes a ton more, he has more flexibility as a/the boss and because it’s just the way we’ve divided that particular bit of labor (there are other things I do the majority). Every now and again when I take ds, I get the comments, too, and just roll my eyes— and sometimes these are female providers! Or how my husband is at every event, party, practice with me and I get comments like how great he is just for being there . . .
Anonymous
09/10/2019 09:50
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:That we really, really do not yet live in a society with gender equality. Workplace policies and cultural expectations both push women to be the default parent. You can maintain the illusion of gender equality until you have kids. Then you realize we’re still basically in the 1950s. (How many men know the names of their kids‘ doctors and dentists and teachers and classmates? Some. But not most. How many women? All of us).
The inequality is very depressing.
I'm not saying that everybody can do this but both my H and I took a hit at income to be flexible and we both did everything.
When my H would take off for a sick kid his boss would say, "what is wrong with your wife"... he would say "nothing, I unlike you like my kids and want to be there for them" or many variations of the same type of comment.
Actually, my doctor once said to me..."oh there is a mom" ... I said, "that is very rude, I married a competent H and you are shaming me for it?" He did apologize and was very sorry and said, he has to get use to the new way us young kids do things.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 09:45
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
That no matter the age, you’ll never stop worrying about them, loving them, wishing you could protect them, and being a grandmother is the BEST.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 09:43
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
I posted that I never rode in the back, but my kids loved riding in the car. I don’t equate it with overindulgence. Didn’t mean it that way.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 09:32
Subject: Re:What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
I never realized how difficult transitions would be. We we've recently potty trained my son and started preschool. It has been a rough few weeks.
I also "knew" this on some level but the reality has hit me: Toddlers are the cutest, most fun, full of wonder creatures and at the same time completely irrational, narcissistic assholes who believe we only exist to do their bidding.
I also "knew" this on some level but the reality has hit me: Toddlers are the cutest, most fun, full of wonder creatures and at the same time completely irrational, narcissistic assholes who believe we only exist to do their bidding.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 09:04
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:That we really, really do not yet live in a society with gender equality. Workplace policies and cultural expectations both push women to be the default parent. You can maintain the illusion of gender equality until you have kids. Then you realize we’re still basically in the 1950s. (How many men know the names of their kids‘ doctors and dentists and teachers and classmates? Some. But not most. How many women? All of us).
The inequality is very depressing.
We women don't want it any other way.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 09:02
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:That I’d come to pity those with no children. They really are missing out on a fundamental and powerful human experience.
Is this really necessary? In many ways, I’m sure they pity you too.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 09:01
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
That we really, really do not yet live in a society with gender equality. Workplace policies and cultural expectations both push women to be the default parent. You can maintain the illusion of gender equality until you have kids. Then you realize we’re still basically in the 1950s. (How many men know the names of their kids‘ doctors and dentists and teachers and classmates? Some. But not most. How many women? All of us).
The inequality is very depressing.
The inequality is very depressing.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 08:57
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
That I’d come to pity those with no children. They really are missing out on a fundamental and powerful human experience.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 08:49
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
The constant fear and worry.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 08:43
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
That parenting teenagers makes parenting toddlers look like a fun day at Disneyworld.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 08:41
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:How having kids opens up whole new worlds you otherwise never would have discovered, and let’s you See things you thought you knew through an entirely different lens - and how much fun it is to do so for these little people you live.
Never thought I’d happily learn how to judge diving meets, or be so genuinely excited to watch a little boy (not even my own little boy) score his first basket after four years on the team. Or that I’d become a connoisseur of East Coast roller coasters, eagerly anticipate the release of the next Percy Jackson book, and cry out excitedly when the metro Is visible from the highway.
"Look guys a train!"
Anonymous
09/10/2019 08:39
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is just for fun!
Before I was a parent I thought parents sat in the back with their babies because they couldn't stand to leave their precious poopkins alone in back, and I thought they were overly indulgent nuts. Now I get that its for your own sake to keep the baby from screaming the whole way and I'm totally riding in back to save my sanity
Before I had 2 I didn't really see why screentime was necessary - now I'm all over the ipad for my 2yo to give me 15minutes to get baby down and give him a little 1:1 love
I never rode in the back.
Same. I still equate it with overly indulgent.
Oh FFS - then you didn't have a screamer. I'm sure you now other things to survive the day that other people judge
Another extremely valid reason to sit in the back is to keep your kid from falling asleep until you get home, so you can go for a long crib nap rather than a 10 minute car nap.