Reply to DD’s friend suspended for drugs; Disinvite?

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[quote=Anonymous]Alright --

The real problem that you have here is that you are now creating an unliveable situation that means your own kid will, eventually, and most likely quite soon (I would say this summer), start lying to you about absolutely everything.

Why?
 
Because your kid will very soon (a) drink alchohol (b) smoke a joint (c) cheat on a test or assignment and/or (d) have sexual contact with someone of the opposite sex and also with someone of their own sex.

With your actions now with this girl, you have made it very clear to your child that the repercussion for any of these types of actions by your kid is to be forever banned by you, and by your parent friends.  And, frankly, hated by you.

How do you really think that plays out in the next year or two?

Personally, I would suggest leaving the invite alone and having some conversations with your own kid about drug and alcohol use.  What your own thoughts are on the subject and your own experiences.  What could be the impact on her (your kid)?  What can be the impact on her friends?

These are topics for more than one discussion.  And, do not tie the discussion to this particular kid.  If it was not this kid, it would be someone else.  And, frankly, it already is. 
 If the kid was selling hits -- who were they selling too?  You want your own kid making their own hopefully good decisions.  And, very important, being willing to keep talking.

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