Reply to Divorce over chores and WOHM

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I also think OP and her husband need to not take on new “projects” which she sort of uses as 1) an excuse for clutter and 2) a reason why her husband can’t do more day to day stuff.

This is not too say that I think OP’s husband should be constantly picking up after OP.

But I think decluttering should be “project” numero uno.[/b] [/quote]

+1000

Yep. This is the project: Setting up your household to succeed day to day.[/quote]

OP here:   I wish I could stop the projects. We moved into a home that badly needed renovation about 2 years ago.  It was “affordable” because it was scary...or at least it scared off everyone else.  It was the only way to afford the location and the size that we wanted (inducements were bedroom for new baby and guest room, separate basement apartment with entry to street).  It was old and creepy and had dolls hanging from the chandelier.  I wanted turn-key because I was pregnant and was too tired for anything else.  DH said that it was nice to have the basement be a separate apartment to rent out, and — this is what sold me— that there would be a separate space for my parents and if we bought it then he’d agree that my parents could live there.  I would love for them to be near me and out of their house.

I like to visit more frequently.  We visit about once or twice a month.  They are getting old and don’t drive as much and hate driving and parking in the city.  (The other solution is self-driving cars.)

Before we bought our home, I said it was too big and would ruin us/our marriage:  between the revenovation and maintenance of the new home (2x bigger), renovation and sale of the old home, the new baby, and (to me) heating bills, I was really worried.  I can’t undo our decision to buy so we are stuck with these projects.

Sorry ? for complaining about a big home but I feel like I should have kept firm and kept warning DH instead of capitulating:  be careful when you get what you wanted.  There was a reason why other buyers skipped bidding on the listing.  I agreed to this situation so “for better or for worse” so I must keep those projects.  Although there the urgency has decreased:  renovating the second, second-floor bathroom (think exposed subfloor and hole in floor) is less urgent/important than the earlier projects:  first upstairs bathroom and powder room on first floor.  I will really have to think about it.  I will dial back on the parties but the family visits include my sister bringing her 2-year old DS to my home for a (ideally weekly but avg 2-3 weeks) play date with mine (toddlers are 3 weeks apart).  I am really against cutting back in those.

The COH Web site looks great, and it’ll keep from anything rash for a while.  Thanks.

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