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[quote=Anonymous]First, kudos to OP because she seems genuinely interested in taking feedback from folks writing in.

A few observations...

Like others, I do think you have some hoarding stuff going on. Of course it could be worse, but the threshold is does it have a negative impact on your life, I from everything you've described, it does.

When I hear you describe the nature of your clutter, it seems to be around various projects. You seem to have a really strong need to take on these projects (the crafting, the large amount of Xmas decorations and advanced shopping, etc.) None of these things are particularly urgent or necessary. Of course it's healthy to have a hobby, but not at the expense of tidy, functional home.

You need to get realistic about your time, and pair down to what you actually need, and maybe one project/hobby that you only keep stuff for that you are actively doing.

The thing that REALLY jumped out at me was when you said you suggested to your husband that the way to keep down on the clutter was to do more hosting, which would force you to clean up.

Stop and think about that for a second, and think about how a statement like that might land for your husband. It's once again an example that you have put all of your priorities and focus on "extras" like parties, rather than the regular running of your house. It's also a sign that [b]you value the comfort and care of guests over the comfort of your own family[/b] Of course we all have the extra motivation to clean up for guests, but for you have taken this normal reality and are living an extreme version of this. Your house is in chaos right now, and your entire family is forced to move around and through it, and the only way they can get relief from it, and the only time you can be bothered to control it, is when [b]other[/b] people come over.

If I were your husband, I would feel very helpless and devalued. 
You've got to reset and refocus. You've let projects, holidays over a year off, and parties and activities for other people take up not only all of the physical space in your house, but also the mental space in your brain. There is no space left, either physically or mentally for your immediate family.

I don't think you are doing this because you are selfish or don't love your family. I think as others have pointed out you are burdened with the mental baggage of growing up with a hoarding model, and it has led to disordered thinking in this area.
The great news is that you seem to have already begun to have some self-awareness of this, and I think with counseling you can really turn this around.

I'm rooting for you, OP. Good luck.[/quote]

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