Reply to Tell me what's weird about where you're staying: Tgiving '18 Edition

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is all incredibly strange to me.  At my parents house and my ILs house, everybody is welcome to eat what they want when they want
  No asking necessary.  Do I want to eat what is at my ILs? Hell no! Do my kids? Hell yes!  Chocolate and peanut butter cereal ( who can eat anything that sickly-sweet for breakfast?), tons of candy and chips, and no fruits or vegetables.  I really don't get how they have lived so long (mid-90s), because I have never seen MIL or FIL eat any fruit or even a taste of a vegetable.  I have brought fruit with us, and always, always, always bottled water (they live in FL - don't understand how anyone can drink the nasty stuff that comes out of their tap!).

But no one in any of our homes (ours, my parents, my ILs) ever asks permission to get food of any kind.  We are close family, not guests.  Even my genteel, southern ILs would be offended if I asked.
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Who says people only ever stay with their parents or their ILs? Some people are staying with aunts/uncles, friends, friends of the family, cousins, the list goes on. Asking before you take something or use something in your host's home is a pretty basic standard good guest behavior. Doesn't everyone know that? Not asking is "incredibly strange" to me.

I once asked my mom if my DS could eat some blueberries (he easily can take down most of a pint in one sitting). She said no, she was using them to make blueberry French toast casserole the next day, but to help ourselves to bananas and other fruit. Good thing I asked, even in my mother's home.

-np[/quote]

This. My parents and inlaws are very generous and hospitable but they don't expect a ravening hoard to come in and eat all of the XYZ they bought for themselves. If it's something like cereal or peanut butter that I can see they have multiples of, I don't ask. But if it's strawberries or cheese, I ask if my kids can have it because maybe they are saving it for something. I appreciate when they do the same visiting us, because I typically go food shopping only once a week and buy only what we expect to need for the week. (Tiny kitchen, no pantry, and cook mostly from scratch; and young kids and work full time, which makes it hard to do spur of the moment shopping.) The time MIL ate most of my prunes in one sitting I was upset (though didn't say anything, of course) because I rely on them for, ahem, digestive purposes, and didn't have enough left for the week. Now I stock extra for her when I know she's coming, so she can eat however much she wants!

Actually, since both my parents and inlaws are within driving distance, what we do now is either bring a bunch of food or just go food shopping the first night after the kids go to bed. So much easier to get what I know we'll eat and not have them try to do it ahead of time. My mom never gets the right food even when she tries ("what do you mean my skim Lactaid milk is not the same as whole milk?" "you wanted a dozen eggs? oops, I only bought 6"). And my MIL has a lot of food that I don't mind my kids eating as treats, but don't want them to subsist on for 3 days, which they would if I didn't supply something else. [/quote]

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