Reply to Moms trying to orchestrate their kids social standing

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[quote=Anonymous]Go to the park and play with whoever is available at that moment in time. Let's kids learn and workout their social hierarchy for themselves. Different children mature at different rates and have different skills.

Play dates isolate and ostracize. Do you want your kids isolated from less popular kids?

Bill Gates says be nice to the nerds because someday you'll be working for them.

And of course no one wants their child to be ostracized. What so many people fail to understand is that popularity is fleeting.  Childhood popularity is dependent on cuteness, physical agility, intelligence, and wit. Perhaps those are important popularity traits in adulthood as well..

Isolating your child in play date circles with exclusively popular kids is a terrible mistake.  Popular/elite children seldom remain as such throughout their lives. They only hold that status as children because they have more mature skills than the less popular kids at that moment in time.

What was awesome at seven means nothing at seventeen, and what was cool at seventeen means less than nothing at twenty-seven.  Ultimately, most of us turn out to be pretty average in the end.

Send your kids to common play areas and let them workout the popularity quotients for that particular moment in time themselves.

There's no point in being part of a popular elitist play group as a child because it's not going to last even into high school never mind adulthood.  Children who are isolated into elite play groups because they are better or more popular just end up being isolated themselves and spend the rest of their lives trying to figure out - WHY![/quote]

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