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[quote=Anonymous]If it was that important to the BIL to have them there for the wedding ceremony, he could have either done it before they moved (everyone knew the move was happening) or scheduled it for when they moved back to DC, or at the very least - NOT scheduled it for right after they freaking have a newborn baby. There are so many reasons why it would be terrible to go that seem to have more potentially serious ramifications (newborn immune system, post partum recovery of mother, nursing, etc.) than the reasons to go (make brother happy after he changed his mind about your previous agreement).

Honestly, the weird narcissistic myopia that happens with weddings is really something. The world does not stop for their party. Tell them you love them and totally get that they want you to be there, but like you discussed it's not going to work out as much as you would like it to.

A recent wedding I attended live streamed it for these exact reasons - such a beautiful way to include people and make it about including them rather than suddenly equating the occasion with test of family loyalty or whatever. They need to get their priorities straight. You made your plans clear ahead of time, and they made their own plans knowing what yours were.

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