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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would appreciate advice on prying a codependent, [b]guilt-ridden spouse [/b]loose from controlling parents. [b]He won’t go to a program for relatives of addicts.[/b][/quote]
OP you can't re-focus his guilt towards a program?  If the parents are worried about what will happen to your SIL after they die, presumably going to a program will help your DH be more prepared.[/quote]

Yes, I was wondering the same thing - trying ot refocus him on why going to a program for relatives of addicts.  DH, you agree what your parents are doing isn't working, right?  So why not just at least go check out things that might work?  It's not about tough love or hitting bottom or other silly phrases from the 80s.  It's about developing strategies that help you, help us, help your parents deal with the reality.  What are our real options here?

TBH, OP, I wonder if you might benefit from attending, if DH won't?  It might give you some tools and tricks and language and framing for your own interactions with your husband, who appears enmeshed in the dysfunction.  [/quote]

Not the OP but I disagree with this suggestion. I don't see how it would benefit either of them. Let the druggie's parents deal with the addict. Addiction is, unlike cancer or a horrific accident, entirely preventable. The SIL could have avoided becoming a burden. She doesn't need her brother and his wife going to a program to learn about HER addiction. It's her problem and her problem only. What a bunch of codependents on this thread. [/quote]

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