Reply to Is this passive aggressive or am I being super grouchy and sensitive?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You lost 70 pounds. Does he appreciate that? Does he treat you better? If no, time for a new relationship.

My DH doesn't believe in psychologists and psychiatrists nor speech therapists. He gave me a lot of pushback, and it wasn't about the cost but time and effort wasted. My son needs speech therapy and it was a struggle to get him on board with that too. He's an engineer so has a logical mind, but he sure has some beliefs that I don't share. I have no doubt he loves me and our son, so this is an example I want to share with OP that maybe he simply does not believe in your son's therapy.

With that said, it does sound like you guys are going to have a lot of issues about who pays for what. Are you the only one going to pay for your kid's daycare or school costs, his food, his clothing, his activities, his toys? If yes, then yeah, he doesn't care about your son. [/quote]

He didn't come out and say that he doesn't believe in therapy.  The reason I viewed his behavior as passive aggressive is that he doesn't just come out and say "I think it's stupid that you're spending money on therapy."  To me, that would be a more honest way, but he is smart enough to know that I would not take that well.  He says about 50 other things, such as how much is it, do you really have to go once a week, when will you know if it's working, have you talked to the therapist to check on his progress, what is the incentive for the doctor to stop the therapy, and on and on and on.  Coupled with his other remarks about doctors, I know what those questions mean.

I flat out asked him the other night if he thinks that therapy for my son was a waste of money and he gave me "I guess you know him better than I do and if you say he needs it, he needs it." but then immediately after that he got pissy and started saying how he is going to invest some of his money into a property in Baltimore and that would take him away on the weekends.  And just like I don't like for him to micromanage my money, he doesn't like for me to micromanage his time. Mind you, I have never said anything about him investing in this property because this was the first time he told me about it.

I told him we need to have some serious conversations about expectations before we get married and that I didn't like the tit for tat nonsense.  [/quote]

OP, I am flummoxed by your ongoing choice to stay in this relationship and by your apparent belief that you can fix this through some "serious conversations about expectations."  This man is showing you who he is.  He is not respectful of you or your son.  He is not supportive of your parenting, or of your son.

You sound like a loving mother who has her act together in parenting and in life.  He is not going to support you in ways to help you maintain healthy habits for you and your son.

I have been married for 20+ years to a passive-aggressive micromanager whose communications style is similar to that of your fiancé.  It is a very difficult road.  I cannot imagine doing it with someone who questions my choices for my OWN CHILD.[/quote]

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