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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I've been thinking about you all day as I washed clothes, attended a school event, picked up my kids, helped them with their homework, gave the feverish one medicine.  It hurts to think about someone else hurtling down that wrong path.  Is there a specific reason you want to SAH?  All I will say is it is a bad idea to get married if you are not excited and joyful about the direction in which your life is heading.  I would not commit to any serious relationship if there were something in my life that was keeping me from being my best self.  Unfulfilling career, intense anxiety, alcohol/drug/food dependency, rage outbursts, even a general sense of lacking direction.  What are you so certain that marriage is going to bring you that you can't get while single?  I assumed marriage would guarantee me passionate, frequent sex with a loving companion.  I never dreamed that lack of sex would fundamentally alter my ability to be a loving partner.  I sought validation through my spouse, not realizing that my infinite need for it made giving it to me a nearly impossible task.   I thought marriage meant the end of being lonely, unaware that the loneliness in which you are prohibited from seeking deeper contact can be the worst kind.  How much better I would have been had I tried to fulfill my needs outside of the conjugal institution.  I should have gotten laid more, learned to value and validate myself, and to deal with the loneliness that is simply part of the human experience.  Please don't repeat my mistakes.  I wish so much I could have a few minutes on the phone with you.[/quote]

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