Reply to Never do a DNA test if you don't want the answers!

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[quote=Anonymous]So I had a person just randomly start talking to me in the store regarding a whether I had heard of any of the DNA testing places.  LOL , well yes, I have.  They went on to say they never knew their Father. I discussed at length the complexities of the search and thought I would put some of the key points to remember if searching for birth family.

1.  Be careful when talking to anyone besides the person you believe is your parent as you do not want to throw any family into chaos.  You do not know what circumstances surrounded what was going on.  So tread lightly.  I just said that I believed that this person may have known my parents in whatever year it was and had questions for them.
2.  Prepare yourself for the fact that the person may deny or be in shock and hang up.  You may even be told not to call back.  Be okay with that. 
3.  Your children, other parent, siblings, other family, etc may not be as ready to accept this "change" in your family.  Give them time to process it.  At the same time, there is no shame in your origin, regardless of the circumstances.  You were meant to be.
4.  Always err on the side of caution.  Until you know for sure the person is your parent/sibling/etc.  I was fortunate enough to have details that really cemented the theory into most likely true and probable.  
5.  Don't give up.  New DNA, new items are put online every day.  Do not bypass ANYTHING.  If it weren't for an article that spoke of what ended up being my eldest brother and my "shot in the dark" calling him, I probably would have never found them!  
6.  Choose to forgive the past, whatever the circumstances, and be thankful for your life. You cannot change it, for sure.  
7.  Sometimes joining a support group if people in your situation will help you get through the emotional rollercoaster that DNA tests sometimes bring forth.  [/quote]

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