Reply to Please tell me you don't "thank" your spouse...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Of course I thank him for the shit he does. And he thanks me. Another person her for basic courtesy and decency. Sure, is taking out the trash his job? Yes. Do I still thank him? YES because I still appreciate it.

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This. You thank the hairdresser, the waiter, the person who bags your shopping, the teachers, for doing their jobs. So why not also thank the person you live with for doing their part?[/quote]

I do not thank the hairdresser for doing the person's hair next to me.

I do not thank the person who bags my groceries for getting herself/himself a cup of water.

I do not thank the teacher for keeping the teachers lounge clean.

OP's husband is not doing things for [b]her[/b]. He is doing stuff for [b]himself [/b]and wants to be thanked.  [/quote]

Keeping the family and household running IS for everybody. Not just him.[/quote]

No, putting his own child to bed builds a bond with child and fatter. It is for him.

When they divorce the mom won't care how badly he distroyed his relationship with his kids.

Putting his own dishes in the sink does not keep the family running. Washing his own clothes makes him happy, not the family.[/quote]

Bonding with his child IS good for the family. Strong, healthy attachments to both parents is good for the family, good for the mom, good for the kids. Not just him. Putting your own dishes in the sink is good for the family. He is modeling good behavior for the kids, he is doing something somebody else now doesn't have to do. He's keeping bugs from invading the living room. Washing his own clothes ... well, I see that is one less load that I do. Because, yeah, I do most of the laundry. So if my DH did a load of his dirty stuff ... big old thank you, because I didn't have to touch his underwear. And again, it models the right behavior to the kids. They see that everybody helps keep the household running.

I can't help thinking you, whomever keeps responding that he is just doing stuff for himself, must be a very selfish person if you can't see how actions impact others.

When I make dinner, and my DH thanks me for making dinner instead of criticizing that he doesn't like it (as may be the case), he is modeling to the kids how to behave, and expressing gratitude. He is making me feel good about my contribution to the family, and not like sh!t because nobody liked dinner (which, again, may be the case). When I thank DH for mowing the lawn, it is because I know how much work it was, even if it is his job. The kids can play in a clean, tidy yard. [b]We won't get cited by the city for having grass that is too long.[/b] The neighbors won't fuss. I won't have to mow it. [/quote]

OMG you thank your H for not breaking laws.
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