Reply to Please tell me you don't "thank" your spouse...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think that the real issue is the need for things to be equal.

I grew up with parents who both thanked each other.  They had a pretty traditional relationship, but if one parent did something that benefited the whole family, the other one would thank them.  "Thanks for dinner, that was delicious", "Thanks for mowing the lawn", "Thanks for taking the trash out".  Since it was both ways, then it worked fine.  Now, if Mom is thanking Dad, but not the reverse?  Then you have a problem.
[/quote]

Yes yes yes!! It has to go both ways. I grew up like this, and carried it into my marriage I would thank my spouse for things, and not get thanked back. I didn't even realize how crappy it felt for a long time, but I really felt unappreciated and unvalued. And I told him. And it literally took him years to understand that I wanted and needed recognition for the things done (I think this goes back to love languages, as well), even if they are my "regular" jobs.

That said, after he realized, really understood what it meant to me, he started trying to step up and show his appreciation.[/quote]

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