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[quote=Anonymous]Hi OP, I'm glad you had the strength to end things so far into it.  I would have said, "do not marry him."

My ex did many of the same types of things, and it is simply, a character flaw.  The only good thing to come out of our marriage are our kids, but that's just another area where he can lie and manipulate.

Much like your fiance, my ex had a somewhat troubled childhood -- always the excuse or "reason" for his lying and for his behavior.  He is a narcissist, so it is always about him, but never his fault.  Life dealt him a bad hand, and he covers up with lies because he feels inferior.  He would just say they are no big deal and does not understand the mistrust it built.

Some examples -- he lied about his age and about having an MBA the night we met.  I found about 6 months later, by chance.  He apologized profusely, wrote me long letters, begged for another chance.  OK, that was my biggest regret.  Not telling my family and taking him back.  Along the way, I learned that he did not graduate from where he said he graduated college.  He went to college, but not where or the way he had led me to believe.

Later on, it was about who he was with, what he was doing, taking a job and making it seem like we decided together.  Found a box of bills, unopened and hidden under a bed right after we married.

The list goes on and on -- but I can tell you from experience, it is no way to live.  White lies you tell to save someone some heartache, those are not the same as lies told between life partners.  You tell someone you enjoyed the dinner they made for you, or that you have other plans already, or whatever...you're not setting up a life with that person.  The lies he told you go to the core of who he is.

As everyone has said, he has shown you who he is.  He did not come clean, you found him out.  That was lucky for you, and you were smart enough to seek advice.  I was not so smart back then.[/quote]

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