Reply to How do I make myself just not care?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My MIL promised she would make my SIL contribute last year, but then that didn't happen.  And she told me this year that she would make them do the same, but I feel like I'd be a fool to fall for that again.[/quote]

Why are you policing your MIL's relationship with her daughter? You can pay for what you like, then allow MIL and FIL to pay, covering their daughter. If they don't mind paying for their daughter's groceries, why should you? You act like you're trying to protect them, but clearly they don't want to be "helped" in that way. You can learn to not care by staying out of other people's relationships.[/quote]

This, this, this a hundred percent.  OP, you are taking on this project of dividing up the food budget.  Not.Your.Concern.  Seriously, have MIL and FIL (or SIL) do the grocery shopping and either before hand or after, pay them for your portion.  It is not your problem whether they collect SIL share or not.  Don't even concern yourself with that.  You take care of you and your family.  If you don't want to be a mooch to MIL/FIL then pay your share, but stop meddling into SIL and her parents' relationship.  [/quote]

I don't think I explained that very well. If my MIL bought all the groceries and then I paid her for our share and my SIL never paid, you're entirely right, that would be absolutely none of my business. The problem is, my MIL buys SOME food (but not nearly enough for everyone), with the idea that everyone else is also going to contribute food. Then my SIL just doesn't bring anything and her family eats all the food there is. So what am I supposed to do at that point? I appreciate the suggestions of doing it as an act of love for my in-laws and my husband and that is what I am going to do. I admit, it is difficult for me to do it as an act of love for my SIL because she is one of the most self-absorbed people I have ever met and seriously has never given a shit about me or my kids (or my husband - there is no story about how she helped him at an earlier point in life, and we all know that he and I will be the ones responsible for his parents when they can't take care of themselves), but I am working on changing how I feel about doing things for her when she does nothing for me. I understand that I should be a better person, and I'm trying to be. So thanks to the people who didn't just beat me up. [/quote]

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