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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Actually, I come at it from the side of having been the victim and feeling for the victim. Having been in her shoes, I really really hated when the mean girls said sorry for the sake of the adults who wanted to smooth things over and pretend kids were all sweetness and light and innocence who all got along, expecting me to go along with this new (often insincere) "friendship." You as an adult don't get along with everyone; you're not friends with everyone; why would you expect that of a child? As I said, I expect my daughter to treat everyone with kindness and respect. I certainly don't expect her to be friends with, or hug and makeup with, the boy who is tormenting her at school this year. I think it's a lot healthier to teach her that he's having a hard time this year, she still has to be kind, but not that she has to go beyond that into some idealized childhood where everyone is friends.[/quote]

[b]This.  The victim should not be forced to be "friends" with the mean girls or be made to feel that she is the one to blame for not feeling like giving them hugs.  [/b][/quote]

+1000[/quote]

I meant the NCS girls should make peace so they can let this go before starting upperschool. I didn't mean the victim although it would be nice if a sincere apology was made and there was peace, as DC is a small town and they will see eachother. [/quote]

Thanks for clarifying.  And, yes, the girls should make a personal apology to the victim and it should be as sincere as they can make it (may require someone standing over them not because they are evil but just because they are teen girls).  The apology needs to be explicit and each girl needs to verbalize her part.  The victim doesn't need to "accept" the apology, she just needs to say "thank you for your apology" to each person who apologizes.[/quote]

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