Reply to What is the primary problem in your marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH has no love language, for giving or receiving, and thinks it's a character flaw that I want him to compliment me and be affectionate.  He treats me like a roommate or his mother and doesn't see anything strange about that.[/quote]

Okay, barf, stop saying that. Also, cut the princess act and do more considerate things for him for 6 months+, work on yourself and dont ask for stuff from him in return. See if that turns things around. Currently you sound very annoying and thus the roommate/mother status.[/quote]

Harsh.  If "love language" is too cliched for you,  ignore it and focus on the point, which is that in 20 years together he has no pet names for me, has never complimented me, doesn't initiate cuddling or intimacy, doesn't do thoughtful things, and just basically doesn't do anything that couples do for each other.  (He also doesn't make up for it by doing anything "manly" like take care of the house, lawn, or cars, before you suggest that.)  We've talked it to death, I've clearly laid out how I'd love to be treated, and like i said, he sees it as weak.  Anyone who would call me a needy princess over this is taking a hell of a lot for granted in their own relationship and probably can't fathom the level of platonicness  from a partner that I'm describing.  Why not divorce?  His family is my family, our friends are mutual, I just can't fathom losing my whole life.[/quote]

Pet names? That just screams Princess to me. I'm just a basic gal , I would never have that kind of thing as a requirement.  I think that I did used to ask for stuff like that and he looked at me like I had two heads and then life hit and I forgot all about any demands. But the other things are harsh.

17 crazy years after birthing the last kid DH is less stiff and more affectionate. No pet names but he brings me coffee and I enjoy talking to him a lot. It took a long time to be truly connected.
I don't think that you can talk these things out - I would stop doing that - just try to grow the relationship. Do you have kids?
Why is he like this? Was he always? How long did you know him before you married and why did you marry him?What exactly does he do in his day to day interactions with you? [/quote]

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