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[quote=Anonymous]This thread went a very predictable direction. Hate on single moms? Check. Accusations of selfishness and gold-digging? Check. Suggestions of possible child abuse? Check.

Look, Marrieds. What authority do you give your 12- and 17-year-olds over household decisions and life changes? Do they get to decide that you can't, for example, get a different job? If you or your spouse gets a new job in a different city, do your children get to categorically veto that decision for reasons that are not based in reality?

My parents divorced when I was 11. My mom got remarried when I was 15 or thereabouts. Was I thrilled about it? No. Her boyfriend wasn't my favorite person in the world, and him moving into our house wasn't at the top of my list of awesome stuff to have happen. Things changed. The food we ate was sometimes different. I was required to be respectful and kind to him, but no, he didn't have authority to discipline my teenage self. I knew he wasn't "replacing my dad" because my dad lived a mile away and I saw him on Wednesdays and on the weekend. They shared finances and if I wanted a bunch of money for something, yes, that was a conversation that my mom, her boyfriend/then-husband and I had together, but he didn't get veto power over whether I get new school clothes or track shoes or whatever.

I think that divorced moms get special mean-ness on this board because there is a fundamental assumption by many of you Marrieds that they are divorced because they are weak or selfish. All advice stems from the notion that if you were weak and selfish enough to get divorced, you'd better pour 100% of your energy into making that up to your kids and if you so much as think about your own happiness, you are a terrible parent. [/quote]

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