Reply to My boys don't want me to get remarried

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People!  She didn't say the fiancé lives with them!  [/quote]

She mentioned all of the day to day things that she and her fiance do with the boys.  Even if they aren't already technically living together, he is around them a lot.

The boys are probably feeling sad because they don't want to see their dad "replaced".  They need to understand that their dad is, and always will be, their dad.  He is not being replaced.[/quote]

Maybe they just don't want someone in their house acting like they owe him the respect of a father just because he's dating their mom.  It is one thing to be courteous to a non-parent.  Totally different if this guy is going to be making parenting and financial decisions. [/quote]

+1.  OP, you are replacing their dad in the sense of adding a male authority figure to the household and a life partner with whom they must share their mother.  Own your choice.  [/quote]

+1.  Their dad is still their dad emotionally, but you are definitely replacing him.  Look, OP, this sucks for them, ok?  Try to understand it.  Alcoholic dad, divorce, now they have to watch their mom being all cozy with some random guy while their father is an alcoholic mess somewhere else and they have to shuffle between two homes while the new man gets to live in one place.  They are going to have to compromise on issues big and small and be on company behavior in their own home.  The boyfriend may be nice to them now in thw courtship phase, but who knows how he'll act when he decides he's man of the house.  OP can divorce him, but they have no recourse other than moving in with an alcoholic.

OP, you can decide this is what's best for your family, but don't try to pretend away the difficulties or expect your kids to be happy.  This is a better deal for you than for them.  Own ot.[/quote]

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