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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Years ago my husband had a friend who I only sort of knew who was getting a divorce.  I knew his wife a bit better.  During the divorce the wife constantly and publicly shit on her husband to anyone who would hear it.  Just absolutely put him on blast.  He was emotionally abusive, hinted that he was physically abusive.  He was a cheater and drug user and constantly put their children in harm's way with his additions and violence, etc.  Her comments made me think he was a horrible person, the worst of the worst.  So much that I wondered why my husband was even friends with this guy.

But then I actually got to know this guy better, at first from a distance.  As I got to know him I realized that "the narrative" spun by his ex was almost completely one sided and incredibly exaggerated.  He was a hurting man grieving a marriage.  He wasn't perfect, for sure, but he wasn't the monster his ex portrayed him as.  I grew to love and admire him too.  One of the things I grew to admire about him was that he never, not once, dumped on his ex, even though he had many reasons to.  He didn't even really defend himself. In fact, he was nice and gentle with her in his public interactions.  [/quote]

I believe firmly that, while there are some exceptions, both parties share in the blame for most divorces. Not one of us is the perfect angel we think we are. That’s the one thing I learned when my spouse and I went through counseling. It saved our marriage and we both learned as much about ourselves and what we, as individuals, needed to address as we learned about each other. We each had to work on ourselves for our marriage to have a chance. Thankfully, we both put in that work. [/quote]

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