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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I've been in your shoes.  Last year I accumulated $10,000 of credit card debt, with really nothing to show for it, felt so depressed and out of control. I was super scared to tell my husband, for reasons I didn't really understand other than shame.  I posted about my situation on the money forum and got great advice and took it.

My situation is different in that my DH did not discover the debt.  It was on a card I have had for ages that I got for work, it was an Amex, which has crazy high interest rates if you carry a balance.  So I opened a  new Visa card through my bank in one of those first year no APR and free balance transfer deals.  I transferred the Amex balance to the new card.  I closed the old Amex card.  I then had a year to pay off the new Visa with the old Amex balance without interest.

Suddenly, I felt in control.  It's hard to explain, but just the act of taking charge of getting the new card and transferring the balance and knowing I had a year to pay it off without anymore accumulating interest had a mental effect on my state of mind in a very positive way.  I paid it off in 3 months.  It was such a relief and I lost all that anxiety.  So I told my DH, I guess because I felt so guilty (as if I was having an affair). He was surprised I hadn't said anything sooner and told me never to feel I couldn't come to him.  And I haven't racked up a balance on this new Visa.  I am keeping it open to help my credit.

Maybe consider starting a thread in the money forum.  Marriage and money go hand in hand.  The responses I received were all super supportive and very helpful, from both a practical and relationship standpoint.  Don't beat yourself up about the 30k, you can move past this,[/quote]

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