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[quote=Anonymous]So how did you get $30,000 in debt anyway?  I ask only because it sounds like a spending problem, like an addiction almost.   You are going to have to STOP spending and pay that stuff off.   Can you do it?

I'm not great with money, either, so I empathize.   But I always tell my husband my screw ups.

There are three aspects of what to do when you screw up.   Apologize, fix it, and try your hardest to never do it again.

In your shoes, I would repeat how sorry I was, tell him it's actually $30,000 (like ripping off a bandaid,, just do it), lay out "a" plan to pay it off or else ask him how he wants to handle it (maybe he should take over all the money), acknowledge how hurtful the deceit was, be willing to do whatever it takes to earn back his trust, and if necessary, go to counseling.    Focus on those three ways to remedy your mistake.   Do them because they are the right thing to do.  Not because you think it will save your marriage.  That's his choice, but I do think with honesty and integrity on your part, he should be able to work through this.  With time.[/quote]

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