Reply to Well I think its safe to say my DIL hates us

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[quote=Anonymous]Background: My son is a 29 year old father of two who is married to a LOVELY girl who we truly love.  He had a good stable job (still does) but my husband (and myself) really pushed him to get a terminal degree/JD.  His employer also is interested in the prospect and its been implied a big promotion will come after he finishes although nothing written in contract. The night school life has been tough and my DIL and him have a 5 year old and a 9 month old.  I originally thought she would wait to have a second child but she told us she wasn't comfortable with them being more then 4 or 5 years apart and yearned for them to be close in age. Of course I want more grandchildren and I am so blessed to have them both but the added child has made the tables turn into her wanting to stay home but its not feasible because of law school. So basically my son is gone 4 nights a week from 6:20 to 10:10 and gets home by 10:45.  So for 4 week days a week she is on her own.  The weekends are better but he still needs to study about 8 hours a weekend.  She confided in me her marriage is handing on by a string and she resents all the pressure we put on him to complete the degree.  She feels like his job is good enough without a terminal degree and we put unfair amounts of pressure on him to do this NOW.  And 2.5 years ago when he got in we did encourage it because they only had one kid and he was already in his late 20s and we felt it was now or never.   She said she will never get these years back with her kids and he's missing all of it. I keep telling her she will GREATLY benefit from this degree down the line but she can't see that right now.  How can I encourage her to buck up and get through the next 18 months and then things will prove worthwhile. We want to babysit more when we can but she doesn't make us feel welcomed.  How should I proceed?[/quote]

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