Reply to 12 Year Old Son Constantly Lies

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
It sounds to me like your method of dealing with the lies is to guilt him about trust and your relationship and have some sort of talk with him about lying on a philosophical/moral level.  OP, that's simply not effective.  You need to deal with this on a practical level. If you are catching him in lies about feeding the dogs, that should not be his responsibility anymore -- ever.  He's not mature enough for that, and you tell him so.  He also loses a privilege or screen time if that's what kept him from feeding the dogs.

What is the scenario in which he has to report to you what shirt he wore on picture day?  I'm having trouble seeing what that's about.  Also whether he wore running shoes to the gym.  I'm not trying to turn this around to be your fault -- I agree he's lying a lot -- but I think perhaps there's an element of "zapping" going on here or too much checking up. Sometimes lying is about autonomy, especially for a 12 year old.
[/quote]

This.  You're being too hard on him and holding him to a standard he can't meet, so he's lying.  You need to change the standard or change your response when he doesn't meet your standard.

My mom did the same thing to me and I lied.  She had an impossible standard.  So I lied.  Yes, mom I did what you told me....[/quote]

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