Reply to Besides sex, what are the most important things you do to improve your marriage?

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Reply to "Besides sex, what are the most important things you do to improve your marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We go to bed at same time, though I stay up later and read. We wake up together, always, and have a pot of coffee before getting out of bed. [/quote]

Is your coffee machine beside your bed? Do your kids serve you coffee in bed? I don't get it. [/quote]

For some reason I am very puzzled by this. (Even more than the mom whose 7 year old made spaghetti in the morning before school.)[/quote]

Maybe they have a servant. Having a servant greatly improves marriage.

Something we do is to try to do positive things together, especially new experiences. Another is to try to see the other person's point of view, and to try to understand what needs are behind what they say and do. Like, he needs to feel appreciated and I need to feel heard. I'm a worrier and he's a perfectionist. Both of us had hypercritical, invalidating parents, and we spend extra time assuring each other we're heard and validated and accepted. Our kids are probably going to grow up and say, "Ugh, our parents were exhausting together" and will go out of their way to find the least intense partners they can. [/quote]

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