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[quote=ThatBetch][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know everyone hates the silent treatment but for me sometimes I really need to not talk about whatever it is for awhile until I calm down and organize my thoughts. Otherwise I could say things I don't mean in anger[/quote]

I don't think that's what OP's talking about.  It's one thing to say, "Look, I need to cool down and give this some thought".  It's another thing entirely to just cut someone off without them maybe even knowing why![/quote]

Not OP, but +1 to this. Taking a break is one thing, and best if you can say when you'll be back to reopen the discussion. Flouncing off in a snit is another.

Contrary to what a different PP said, I think this is less an example of "person w/o power" and more a power play. It's childish at best, and can be considered abusive if habitual (see also: stonewalling).

You either want to talk or you don't. I think either's probably fine, if you own it. It's when you actually want/need to talk and resolve the issue, but can't express yourself well enough to make your point clear, so you get flustered and quit w/o warning/explanation that it becomes a losing strategy. Or when you don't really care enough to be having the conversation in the first place, but lead someone on so you seem "nice" or "polite" and then quit before the conversation is resolved.

As for how long I can tolerate this, well, I was married to someone like this for a decade! But now that we're separated, I'd put this in the definite dealbreaker category, for reasons I just stated. This behavior tells me that the person I'm talking with isn't really interested in, or perhaps capable of, civil conversation. Being able to converse, even about tough things (or especially about tough things!), is a critical component of a healthy relationship. If the silent treatment is a common theme with your partner, I wouldn't waste much time tolerating it. People here suggest counseling, but I didn't find that helped my situation at all (as he'd just stonewall the counselors, too).[/quote]

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