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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you all for your insight, including those who said I might be overreacting. I had just recently spent a weekend with them, and it had been a while since we last saw them, and it seemed as though everything that I find frustrating/annoying about her behavior they managed to cram into one weekend (my dad is very laid back and will sometimes tell my mom to lay off, but mostly just lets her do her own thing) and that just made everything come to a head in my mind.

I found it very validating to hear from people who said that my mom was not harmless, however. Even though logically I know she was damaging, I still have the tendency to gaslight myself and blame myself for my problems that developed as a result of her issues.

My husband and I discussed the issue. We both have our own issues with my parents (my husband finds them very *high maintenance* as though nothing pleases them, my issues are detailed above). We agreed that while we want to maintain a relationship, we do not want them exerting too much influence over our rearing or our children's beliefs about themseles/the world around them.

We are going to work on limiting this influence and surrounding our children with other healthy couples who share our views.

Thank you all again.[/quote]

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