Reply to Anyone with experience joining therapy spouse in individual therapy? What was that like?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Call the therapist first and express your feelings.

My H is in therapy for abuse and we never discuss details of the abuse. We discuss his behavior and how to support the change in his behavior.

For example, he is controlling. I understand now why he is controlling. I have been given ways of bring to his attention and he is learning to not get angry when I won't let him control me. [/quote]

Thank you this advice is actually helpful.[/quote]

I am happy that my post was helpful.

There is very little research on men who were abused and almost no support for their wives.

I just read allies in healing, https://www.amazon.com/Allies-Healing-Person-Sexually-Abused/dp/0060968834 it was a little helpful. I skimmed through the unhelpful parts.

Hugs, we are pretty alone in our situation.[/quote]

'When a man you love was abused' by cecil murphey is a great book. It's religiously slanted but I read it anyways - there's so few good books on the subject.

I second the calling his therapist in advance. Tell her what you wrote here. I also think get one of your own. I saw one for months where I basically just unloaded everything going on with my spouse. She helped me take care of me too. Take care of yourself OP. You also don't need to know all the details to be supportive. You can choose and adjust how and when you listen to him. It's a lot to take in. [/quote]

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